What if

What if you found out you were pregnant?

Excitement

What if you made it to the "safety zone" of the second trimester?

Liberation

What if you found out it was a beautiful baby boy to add to your family?

Joy

What if you made it past 25 weeks and the odds of having your baby and he surviving were great?

Relief

What if his ultrasound showed a healthy happy baby?

elation

What if he moved so much you knew you were never alone?

Special

What if you made it "full term"?

Safe

What if a routine doctor’s visit turned into your worst nightmare?

Heartbreak

What if you had to stare into your husband’s eyes as he realized his son was not meant for this earthly life?

Gut wrenching

What if you had to deliver a silent baby?

Traumatic

What if you got to hold him, and rock him, and kiss him, and sing to him?

Peaceful

What if you had to hand him over, never to be taken home?

Piercing

What if you had to return to a home prepared intently for a baby with no baby?

dreadful

What if you had to tell your daughter that Jesus wanted her little brother with him?

Heartbreaking

What if you had to buy a 24 inch casket for your own son?

Unacceptable

What if you had to bury your sweet boy before he even had the chance to look into your eyes?

Excruciating

What if taking care of your newborn means tending to a grave in a cemetery?

Unreal

What if you just had a baby but no one asks about him?

Brutal

What if you have to say hello and goodnight to your baby through prayers?

Helpless

What if the only tangible part of your baby that you have is a lock of hair?

 Strangely Comforting

What if you cry into his blankie each night with tears of confusion and longing?

Unfair

What if you long to wake up at all hours of the night and care for your baby?

Disappointed

What if the only way you can feel your boy is through the wind or in your dreams?

Jealous

What if the world continues on while you are still grieving your sweet baby?

Angry

What if the only way you can carry your baby is in your heart and mind?

Unsatisfying

He was mine.

He was mine for a little while.