A Letter to Wyatt

My Dearest Wyatt-

It has been seven weeks since you entered and left our arms, but not a day has gone by that has not been filled with beautiful thoughts of you. I have been wondering lately what you might look like now. Would you still have a head full of hair? Blue eyes like me, or brown like Daddy and Lyla? How would you like to be held and talked to? What would make you smile? Would you like your back rubbed like Sissy? Smirk like Daddy? Keep Mommy's signature cheeks? I think about how Lyla would love on you and want to help take care of you. I think about how your Daddy would come home from work and lay you on his chest. In everything that I do, you are present in my thoughts. You even visit me in my dreams, son.

I am often overcome with sadness at all that I never got the chance to say to you or do with you. Some things so trivial as changing your diapers, bathing you, or calming your cries. I will never get to hear you giggle, fight with your sister, or talk with your Daddy about "guy" stuff. I had no time to read to you or teach you the ABCs. I will never get to watch you grow into a young man who adores his mother. I wanted so badly for you to want to "marry" me like your big sister does your daddy.

We have shared your pictures with family and friends and they all think that you are handsome and perfect in every way. Many of them were fortunate enough to feel and see you move inside my belly and to hold your earthly body. Your kicking, rolling, and punching always made me smile and feel special. I am so proud to be your mommy. No matter what happens in this life, I will not stop telling the world about you, my precious son.

Wyatt, your Daddy and I love you so much and miss you beyond words. We were excited to bring you home and show you your airplane room; we were certain that you were going to love it. We wanted to watch you love and play with your big sister. She misses you too, buddy. She often asks when can she see you or when are you coming back. We tell her that we will all be reunited one day in the place that you are now, Heaven. You see, even though my faith has been severely shaken since you were taken from us, I still believe. I have to. I believe that one day we will all be together again, and it will be nothing short of glorious.

When you arrived we were sad; sad because we wanted so badly for you to take a breath and to cry. But we were also glad; glad that we were chosen to be the parents of an angel. Wyatt, we want you to know that we had an amazing life planned for you, but nothing compared to what you are experiencing in Heaven. I have found myself asking "Why me God, why my baby?" but its not about me. Wyatt, your story has already touched so many, some you might have never been able to meet had you been able to stay with us on Earth. Our unconditional love for you has taught others about compassion, faith, and love. You are a vessel of the Lord.

Because of you, Wyatt, I am on the verge of becoming a better person. The sunshine is brighter, your sister's laugh is sweeter, and your Daddy's love is stronger, all because of you. I am richer for having held you a moment, than to never have held you at all. Until we meet again in Heaven...Keep an eye on us, Little Buddy.

Love, Love, Love

Mommy